NUDITY

So, I'm an actor... and a very common question I get from male producers and directors is something like: "I can you a part, but are you willing to do a nude scene?" And the real answer is, yes if it's absolutely crucial to the plot and the character and the shots are tasteful. But, who the heck are you to ask me that before even mentioning a script? News flash, guys, the "will you get naked for a part?" question smacks of porn. So, when I say, "No, I won't go nude for your movie." It's because I think you're either propositioning me or trying to con me into working on a porno for free. Either way the answer is No, you low class amateur.

Nude for free is the next place I draw a line. Go through the breakdowns (acting job postings) on any site and you are guaranteed to find non-paying "jobs" for indie films and student films that require nudity. Seriously??? Even if she loves your project, no self-respecting woman should be willing to take off her clothes for free on immortal film. Don't take advantage of the desperate artist trying to build her reel.

Hey, Natalie, you're going to far. The body is beautiful. I'm an artist! You're being a stuck up prude.

Okay, auteur, if you are such an artist, use your creativity to shoot angles that imply nudity without actually doing it. I have 3 words for you: Alfred - Hitchcock - Psycho. A woman dies in the shower and we see very little. That scene is one of the most prolific in film history. We don't see the knife plunging into her flesh. We don't see anything between her collarbone and knee, but it's one of the sexiest scenes in Hollywood. Sci/Fi is full of implied nudity. There are plenty of nude men and women floating in cloning tanks in Film and TV: X-files and Alien come to mind, but you will notice that the hands and feet are positioned in such a way that we don't see any of the sexy bits.

Personally, I can't understand why anyone in film school is allowed to have nudity in their project. That should be an automatic fail. You want to be a director of major motion picture and television? Learn how to shoot something interesting for a PG rating. You won't always be on HBO or SHOWTIME, and your backers won't always support an R-rated film. So, really it serves you to find a way show vulnerability and nudity in a new and unique way that spans all platforms. You want to be an artist? Appeal to the mind and the heart before the libido.

With that I will end my rant. Comments welcome.